First the “butterflies” hit . . .
maybe a stomachache . . . or a tension headache. Maybe a shaky feeling comes . . . sweatiness
. . . the heart starts racing. A
dizziness—like one wants to pass out . . . or the urge to throw up. Is this the reaction of someone in love when
his or her object of adoration walks into a room . . . after all, it is
Valentine’s Day; or, is this a person having a heart attack?
Actually, what I described is an anxiety
attack . . . in particular, a “test” anxiety attack. This is how certain individuals’ bodies react
when presented with some sort of “test” or “performance” that is being required
of them . . . they fall apart . . . they cannot remember the answers . . .
their minds go blank . . . they cannot perform no matter how well prepared they
might be. The inherent “fight or flight”
kicks in, and their bodies and minds are telling them to get the heck out of
there!
Please understand that there is
nothing wrong with anxiety . . . we all experience anxiety. It is a natural part of who we are as it
often times gets us revved up and helps us stay at an optimum level to perform
our best. That is normal . . . what is
not normal is when this anxiety immobilizes us to the point that we cannot do
anything.
Our scripture reading this morning is
on the “temptation of Jesus” in the Gospel
of Luke. As the story goes, Jesus
has been baptized by John the Baptist . . . there has been a reference of “who”
Jesus is—heavenly doves and the opening of the heaven . . . he is God’s own
son. From there he heads off to the
wilderness to fast and pray. While in
the wilderness he is tempted . . . tempted by the devil. In other words, he is put to the “test”. We are given three examples of the test that
the devil threw at Jesus . . . all point to the self-interest of the individual
that was centered on self-satisfaction, self-accomplishment, and self-glorification.
Each of the temptations of the devil had
to do with the devil playing on Jesus’ humanity . . . the desire of putting
one’s self first.
For those of you who are C.S. Lewis
fans, you might recognize what the devil is attempting here. In Lewis’ book, The Screwtape Letters, a young devil named Wormwood is sent up to
work on taking away a potential disciple for the enemy . . . in this case the
enemy is Jesus. Being new to the field
this young devil writes to his uncle—a senior devil named Screwtape—for advice
on how to keep the potential disciple from throwing in completely with the
enemy. One bit of advice that Screwtape
gives to his nephew is to get the individual focusing on himself . . . to think
only of himself. If the individual is
totally focused on himself then he has no time for things like God or other
people. In this way the devil wins.
The three temptations thrown at Jesus
in our reading deal with the self . . . focus on the self . . . and, there is
no room for God or others. And, luckily,
Jesus does not fall into the trap . . . does not embrace the temptations. No, Jesus remains adamant in his focus . . .
he will love the Lord with his whole being . . . rely only on God . . . and, he
will love others. To the devil he says, “It
says: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’”
And, we all stand and cheer. Jesus has defeated the devil . . . put the
devil where the devil belongs . . . and, life is wonderful. All the testing is done . . . or so it seems. In the Gospels of Mark and Matthew one would
think that all the testing of Jesus is over . . . Matthew says that the devil
left Jesus and the angels came to minister to him . . . Mark doesn’t really
even mention the devil . . . but, Luke, well he tells a slightly and probably
more realistic story. Luke writes: “When
the devil had finished all this tempting, he left him until an opportune time.” In other words, when it comes to faith, the
“testing” is never done . . . not even for Jesus.
When it comes to faith, we are always
being tested . . . always being challenged to live up to what we profess that
we believe as the followers of Jesus . . . always being put up to the test on
our relationship with God and one another.
Some of the tests are little bitty things like remembering to say a
prayer of thanksgiving before a quick lunch at the fast food restaurant; others
are bigger, like delving to an issue like feeding the hungry, welcoming the
homeless, clothing the naked, or helping the poor. Whatever the case, all of us can attest that
our faith is tested.
And, paraphrasing Sister Teresa, “Yes,
I know God will not give me more than I can handle . . . but, I wish God didn’t
trust me so much!” We all have those
moments in our lives . . . when it comes to our faith . . . that we experience
more than a little normal anxiety . . . we experience that full-blown bout of
butterflies, stomachaches, tension headaches . . . we feel shaky, sweaty, and
think that if our hearts beat any faster it is going to leap right out of our
chests . . . we feel like we are going to pass out or even throw up. We get that “test anxiety”.
In one of Bob Newhart’s classic skits
(LINK) he plays a psychiatrist working with a new
patient. At the beginning he explains
his fees and process . . . he charges five dollars for the first five minutes
and then absolutely nothing after that.
This impresses the patient . . . almost too good to be true. But, he assures her that their session
probably won’t even last the full five minutes.
Then he explains that he must be paid in cash or check—five dollars, and
he does not make change. Again, the patient
is impressed.
Then he tells the patient to start . .
. and, she begins: “Oh, okay. Well, I
have this fear of being buried alive. I
just start thinking about being buried alive and I begin to panic.”
He asks her: “Has anyone ever tried to
bury you alive in a box?”
She responds: “No. No, but truly
thinking about it does make my life horrible. I mean, I can’t go through
tunnels or be in an elevator or in a house, anything boxy.”
To this the doctor tells her that she
is saying that she is claustrophobic. To
which she agrees. At this time he is
prepared to offer his counsel: “All right.
Well, let’s go, Katherine. I’m
going to say two words to you right now.
I want you to listen to them very, very carefully. Then I want you to take them out of the
office and incorporate them into your life.”
The patient asks if she should write
them down. “No. If it makes you comfortable. It’s just two words. We find most people can remember them.”
The patient says: “Okay.”
The doctor asks if she is ready. She says she is. “Okay. Here they are. Stop it!”
Patient: “I’m sorry.”
“Stop it!”
Patient: “Stop it?”
“Yes. S-T-O-P, new word, I-T.”
Patient: “So, what are you saying?”
“You know, it’s funny. I say two simple words and I cannot tell you
the amount of people who say exactly the same thing you are saying. I mean, you know, this is not Yiddish, Katherine. This is English. Stop it.”
Patient: “So then, I should just stop
it?”
“There you go. I mean, you don’t want to go through life
scared of being buried alive in a box do you?
I mean, that sounds frightening.”
Patient: “It is.”
“Then stop it.”
Patient: “I can’t. I mean it’s . . .”
“No, no, no. We don’t go there. Just stop it.”
Patient: “So, I should just stop being
afraid of being buried alive in a box?”
“You got it. Good girl.
Well, it’s only been three minutes, so that will be three dollars.” To which the patient admits she only has a
five dollar bill, but the doctor tells her that he does not make change. Thus she demands to use the full five minutes
and proceeds to tell the doctor of all her conditions. After each one, the doctor tells her two
simple words: Stop it!
At the end of the temptation story,
Jesus tells the devil to: Stop it! Jesus
knows where his faith and allegiance are . . . they are with God and God’s
will. For Jesus there is only one
purpose and that is to love, serve, and praise . . . to love, serve, and praise
God . . . to love, serve, and praise others.
There is nothing else. When
confronted with temptation, Jesus tells the devil to “stop it”.
So should we.
Test anxiety when it comes to faith
does kick in the “fight or flight” mechanism in us . . . especially if the test
is difficult and a great risk to our understanding of who we are as individuals
in the eyes of others and ourselves. The
tendency is to want to run away. Yet,
the test will never go away . . . it will never go away until we face it and
deal with it. And, yes, I know this
sounds a little too simplistic, but we need to remember those words of the good
doctor: “Stop it!”
As the followers of Jesus we have
sworn our complete selves to loving God and others . . . just as Jesus
did. We have committed ourselves to
loving, serving, and praising God and others.
In this we live and find life . . . eternal life. This is the foundation upon which all our
tests of faith come down to . . . are we loving, serving, and praising God and
others in all that we say and do? If we
are, then what is the problem? Shouldn’t
we be able to look the test right in the eyes and tell it to “stop it”?
We are not Jesus, so why would we ever
think that the temptations and tests of faith end when we are baptized and
committed to following Jesus? They did
not end for Jesus after his baptism, his declaration of faith to God, or even
after the big test in the wilderness.
The writer of the Gospel of Luke
tells us that the temptations and tests would continue . . . and, they did for
Jesus. But he remained firm in his faith
. . . to the very end.
As we enter into the season of Lent,
we enter into a time of testing . . . the testing of our faith. We will be challenged . . . confronted . . .
and, put to the test to see whether the words that we speak and the actions
that we take are congruent to what we call our faith. We know the foundation of our faith . . . the
love of God for each and every one of us.
A love that can never be taken away.
A love that will not lead us astray no matter how big or small the test
might be. God loves us.
So, remember . . . if you are
experiencing a “test anxiety” during this season of Lent . . . pause and
remember two little words: “Stop it!”
Amen.
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